This week we’re cracking open Congo (1995), the jungle romp where killer gorillas guard diamonds and a gorilla named Amy talks with a Nintendo Power Glove. Laura Linney’s armed, Dylan Walsh brought juice boxes for a primate, and Ernie Hudson is the only one who knows what movie he’s in. It’s corporate espionage meets theme park ride—and we’re digging through the chaos to see why this ’90s relic is still echoing through our brains like “Ugly gorilla! Go away!”

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Want the lyrics to our Congo song?

[Verse 1]

We took a trip to Congo, thought it’d be a breeze

Diamonds in a lost city, easy cash and a jungle tease

But then a scream through the satellite feed

For Bruce Campbell a quick cameo

Killed by the vicious pale ape – oh no!



[Verse 2]

Amy’s a talking gorilla in the mist

Joe Don Baker’s really pissed

Tim Curry sounds like he’s from Moscow

Winston Zeddemore is British now

There are hidden dangers they’ve all missed.



[Chorus]

I can’t say… I can’t say…

I can’t say… where I’m-a-gonna stay

When the gray apes slay



[Verse 3]

From plane crash landings to high-tech guns

To diamond-fueled vapor beams hotter than the sun

Jimmy Buffett flew the jet,

Peter’s eyes are getting wet

Amy met a hunky silverback and to the jungle they will run.



[Bridge]

“Where’s Homolka?”

“Getting chewed.”

“Is that a diamond?”

“Not anymore, dude.”

“Volcano’s bubbling!”

“I smell cooked ape!”

“Let’s go, let’s go—before we all get vaped!”



[Chorus]

I can’t say… I can’t say…

I can’t say… where I’m-a-gonna stay

When the gray apes slay



The ground quakes, the lava flows, (doo-doo-doo-doo-doot!)

Yeah, the volcano’s gonna blow!

It’s CONGO!